What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

The new year is just around the corner and I'm ready for it.  I am.  I want to move on and start fresh and make this year amazing.  I have been setting goals for myself for the last few months, but with the new year, I want to indulge in the cliche practice of setting New Year's Resolutions.  I truly want to make myself into someone that I can respect, admire, and love.

I guess I feel more motivated than usual because I am starting a new job on January 2.  I see this as a "new year, new job, new me" type of situation.  I'm only slightly terrified.  I know I can do the work at this job, but  I guess I'm unsettled because it's more than just another regular old job; it is going to be a job that will help launch me into my real career: events planning and management.  I am growing up.  I am pursuing a career.  I am climbing the ladder here!  And even though I often still feel young and insecure, it is my time to grow up and be an adult.  And so it is also time for me to remake myself.

Now here's the juicy part of this post (as if you thought I'd let you get away without reading a speck of personal drama?):

I want to be kissed at midnight on New Year's Eve.  BUT.  I don't know anyone that I would want to kiss! And furthermore, I don't know of anyone who would want to kiss ME.  Honestly, that - right there - is a big part of why I want to remake myself.  I want to be desirable.  I want to be beautiful.  I want to be feminine and coy and craved by men.

Right now, this seems like an impossible dream.  I think I've lost faith in love...  I've lost my hope of finding someone who will be totally compatible with me.  I've known that men are mainly attracted to physical aspects of a woman, and since I don't fit the ideal physical bill, I also know that I will be denied their attentions and adoration.  This cynical attitude is something that I want to shed this year.  I want to become a beautiful, classy, and lovely woman, feminine and accomplished, without any jaded mindsets or sarcastic attitudes to detract from that beauty.  I want to become someone that I can love, really LOVE, and I kind of think that once I love myself, others might find me easier to love too.

So even though I don't think I'll be getting a New Year's kiss from a dreamy longed-for man, I will, at midnight, be kissing the old me goodbye and passionately embracing the new me that I'm going to become.  So it's not entirely loveless.  ;)



This post's title came from this song:
What Are You Doing New Year's Eve by Ella Fitzgerald

It Would Be So Fine to See Your Face at My Door

"You're so far away...doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?  ...Long ago I reached for you and there you stood.  Holding you again could only do me good."

Oh Carole King!  How well you know my sentiments!

So I spent what felt like an eternity pining after The Extrovert and then he rejected me and shoved me in the friend zone.  And while at least I know now that he will never want me, I am still sore over that fact.

I was watching a movie the other night, "Boys and Girls," you know, the one with the dreamy Freddie Prinze Jr.?  Yeah...  He was actually the only reason I invested my time into it.  Haha.  But there was a line in there that hit home so hard, I have to blog about it now.

When The Extrovert first came home and we had our little "reunion" or whatever you want to call it, I was ecstatic. It was a perfect night to me - the friendship was still there.  We could talk freely about whatever.  We were joking and laughing so much.  And the spark of chemistry was very much alive and well.  I loved the whole thing...and even though we got a little carried away in our passion, I still loved it all.  But he obviously felt very differently about it.  And the line I am obsessing over is: "Nothing will ever hurt me as much as your reaction to that same experience."  I loved it.  He hated it and wanted to put as much distance as possible between us.  And now he's far away.  On a different page, a different story entirely.  And although I tell myself I'm fine and I'm doing really well without him (which is actually usually pretty true these days), it still hurts that he had such a negative reaction to something that I found so beautiful and wonderful.

I often wish it wasn't ruined and that we could still be in one another's lives, still be in love, and still want each other.  But I guess the logical part of me knows that what happened between us is what was supposed to have happened.  And I need to learn to be okay with that.


This post's title came from this song:
So Far Away by Carole King

I Just Want To Hear You Say, "Hello"

Here we go.  Fasten your seat belts, because this story is going to be wild.  And nearly unbelievable.  I SWEAR I am living in a telenovela or a movie or something!

Okay, let's backtrack to a few weeks ago.  The Extrovert had been texting me periodically.  I had been a little irked with it though, because it was so sporadic, and sometimes he was asking for lady advice for all his lady probs.  And I, being the hopelessly devoted irrational girl that I am, would respond and I kept letting it continue because I was so desperate for contact with him.  Haters can hate.

Well I finally just broke.  After an afternoon of intermittent texting, I finally just said, "Hey, can we just hang out?  I've been missing you and all this casual texting is driving me nuts."  He said, "For sure.  When are you free?"  And so it began.  We kept talking about our schedules and trying to find a time that would work, and it came down to Tuesday.  Tuesday was the only day that would work for me, and miraculously, it worked for him too.  He had some homework that he was going to take care of first, but then we agreed we would meet up.

So Tuesday arrived.  He and I were texting off and on and as the time drew closer, I grew more excited and nervous.  I hadn't seen the kid for 5 months!  Almost to the day!  Well anyways, I got home from work and he texted me saying he had about an hour of homework to do.  I texted back that I had to do some stuff for Relief Society and then I would be free too.  I waited and waited for him to say okay, or to text me saying he was done with his homework.  I didn't want to pester him and interrupt him, because I have this insane fear of being THAT girl - the clingy needy one who can't go two minutes without being in contact.  Whatever, it may be dumb, but I think that is one of the worst stigmas to bear.  So I just didn't contact him...and the minutes passed and turned into hours.  I was so upset!  I decided to go on a bike ride and listen to my "So You've Been Rejected?" playlist, because all of the songs fit the situation SO PERFECTLY.  Anyways, about 3 hours after I had expected us to get together, I got a text from him.  All it said was, "..."  That's it.  So I said back, "What?"  He said, "I thought we were going to hang out tonight?"  I said, "So did I?  So what happened?"  He answered, "I guess when I texted you after work I was expecting some kind of response like, "okay, I'll be home in 45 minutes" or something."

It was at this point that I decided to call him.  When he answered I told him that I HAD texted him!  I couldn't believe he was trying to make this my fault.  I had been stood up!  He told me that he had never received my texts and that he would send me a screenshot to prove it.  Then the tension lessened and I decided to stop being so mad, because where was that getting us?  It ended up that we had a nice conversation via phone, because by that point it was too late for us to hang out.

We made plans to hang out the following night.  I had a party planned, but he offered to help with the party prep and I accepted.  And then I extended an awkward invitation to the party (I didn't really want him to come, because I didn't know how to act around him and I was afraid of how our dynamic might influence the party atmosphere).  He accepted the invitation.  And a fun awkward time was had by all.  And I was mortified at how flustered I was during the party.  And I was sure that he would never want to speak to me again, knowing how crazy I was or appeared to be.  I wanted him to fit in with my friends so desperately, but he took all of them by surprise because no one expected him to be there - not even me, really. We were all kind of thrown, you know?  And I think he could sense that, maybe?

But regardless, I saw him about a week later, where he sought me out and we had a nice chat.  Really, it was good.  We joked like we used to, and fell back into our natural rhythm for the most part.

I miss him so much, but I'm afraid of scaring him away with how much I want him in my life.  I don't know what steps to take next or what to do, but I DO know that I'm not over him.  I want to see him every day.  I want to talk on the phone with him all the time.  I LOVE his voice.  All it takes is a simple greeting from him and I'm putty in his hands.  I am really tangled up in him and I inexplicably love him.  But is that love ever going to be reciprocated?


This post's title came from this song:
Hello by Cody Simpson

We're Young, We Smell Good, We're Alone, So Alive!

DATING.  It is kind of an exciting word.  Slightly intimidating, but desirable.  As young single adults, that is kind of our goal - to be dating someone.  Being alone, while often freeing and fun, can also get old and tired.  There comes a point when you're just ready to date someone.  Or maybe just go on a few dates instead of always hanging out in a group.  Get that one-on-one alone time...  *Shimmy!*  :)  Haha but, I mean, really, sometimes I just want to have a night alone with a guy, just to make sure I'm not fabricating the "spark" or "chemistry" or whatever without any real foundation.

As I've been talking with some of my friends, it has come to my attention that some of them don't have a clue what a real date consists of.  I'll tell you why they're so clueless: our generation is caught up in this phenomenon where we do group hangouts ALL THE TIME, and then, suddenly, a boy and a girl from the group start to "like" each other or be more attracted to each other or whatever, and BAM!  They are an item!  They're steady dating.  The end.  Okay, okay.  There may be some hangouts between the boy and girl before they become official...but how do you know if you're on a date or whether you're just on a casual-friend hangout excursion?  It can be confusing, I know, BUT!  It doesn't have to be.  :)

In order for a get-together to be qualified as a DATE, it must be:

1. Planned
2. Paid For
3. Paired Off

Seems pretty straightforward, but let me clarify:

1. The planned part is very important!  It means that there was some forethought for the get-together and that effort was made to make it all happen and come together.  Planning usually implies that there is a point and a purpose for the thing (just like if you planned to study for a test - the purpose is to do well, or planning a vacation - the point is to have fun, etc.).
2. One party is footing the bill for the evening.  Usually it is the person who instigated the get-together.  Let's draw a comparison: if someone were to invite you over to their home, they would play the part of the host/hostess and make sure you were taken care of in their home.  But when you're out and about, they are going to pay other people to take care of you.  This means paying for dinner, event tickets, etc.  If they want to spend time with you in a datey sort of way, they are going to take care of the details, which means paying.
3. Paired off - what could be more simple?  You are out with one person.  If a group date should occur, then you are out with one person plus a group of other couples - but each person is part of a couple.  No third wheel friends here (or fifth wheel or seventh wheel...trust me, it happens!).

If you find yourself in a social situation that meets the above criteria, then you are on a date!  Don't let the word "date" freak you out.  Just enjoy the time together and see where it goes!  After all, we're young, we smell good, we're alone, so alive!

This post's title came from this song:
Light a Roman Candle With Me by Fun.

In Your World, I Have No Meaning

I have to accept the following: boys pretty much do whatever they want.  And they don't get emotionally hung up about it.  If they want to text me, they will.  If they want to spend time with me, they will.  And if they don't want to be around me, they won't do it.  The end.  That sums up boys.

So.  Now that I have accepted that, I also have to accept that The Extrovert doesn't want to be with me, talk with me, or be in contact with me at all.  It is so easy to say it and act all nonchalant about that, but in all reality, I am DYING inside with the knowledge that I mean nothing to him and that he doesn't have any desire to keep in contact with me.  That is a hard pill to swallow.  I want to mean something to him.  I want him to miss me.  I want him to admire me and respect me and think I am funny, smart, kind, and worth his time.  But I'm left wanting.



This post's title came from this song:
Missing You by John Waite and Alyson Krauss

Baby, It's Fact

FACT: I want to be dating someone.  FURTHER FACT: I am not sure that I am ready to date someone right now, because I am kind of a selfish human.  Also, because I am not the ideal female (i.e. skinny, athletic, petite), the chances that I will be dating someone are SUPER slim...as slim as I wish I was.  BUT!  I thought it would be fun to make a list about me and dating (NOT MARRIAGE, OKAY?  DATING).  So voíla!

• I don't think I would mind dating a guy who had a tasteful tattoo.  Like a tribal tattoo or maybe the insides of his fingers tattooed with meaningful words or something.
• I would LOVE to date a white "bro" who had diamond studs in his ears.  I think that is so incredibly sexy!
• I really want to date a bro!  They are SOOOOO cool and hip and attractive (as a general rule).  Also, there is a really good chance they are long-boarders.  Which is sexy.  If you don't know what a bro is, please, observe, and note the tank tops, backwards hats, and short shorts.  They are kind of requisite, I think.  Also, bros are clean cut and well groomed, which is just such a turn on! 
  
• I jokingly tell people that I like younger men, but the truth of the matter is that I really want to date someone who is older than me.
• I like my guys to be blond.  That way, they don't look as hairy.  Dark leg and chest hair on a guy kind of grosses me out.
• I want to date a guy who is nice to me, but who isn't a pushover and who isn't afraid to take charge or be the boss.  I am a strong-willed woman, but that doesn't mean that I like to wear the pants in a relationship.  I get to be strong and bossy in almost every other aspect of my life, so when it comes to dating, I really want the guy to step up to the plate and take on the part of the aggressor.  Surprise!  I LIKE GENDER ROLES.  So sue me.  I want him to act like the stereotypical gender role cliché: a strong, confident, masculine and slightly bossy man.

This post's title came from this song:

Baby, It's Fact by HelloGoodbye

You're Still Written in the Scars of my Heart

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately.  A lot of nostalgic reminiscing.  A lot of wishful dreaming.  Things never really go how you plan!  I kind of hate that!  I like to make plans.  I feel more organized if I have a plan, and I generally feel more satisfied if the plan goes the way it should.  But plans and love don't really get along.  And let my little telénovela life be the proof!

"There's something 'bout love that breaks your heart..."  Thank you David Archuleta.  (Here's a link to the song).  I would have to concur with this statement.  When I love, I love deeply, and I am a broken woman now because of it.  I didn't think I was, and I don't want to be, but as I keep speculating, I keep realizing it is probably true.  I've got to explain about my past a little bit more so that you can get what I'm trying to say here.

Boyfriend #1 (aka The First) broke my heart.  I thought I was going to cry an OCEAN.  I have NEVER cried so much in my ENTIRE LIFE.  Boyfriend #2 (aka The Extrovert) used and cheapened me.  He made it seem like love at first, but towards the end, I saw through the charade he had so carefully crafted.  Boyfriend # 3 (aka The Singer) WAS GAY.  I seriously thought that all guys were gay after that.  Isn't that so retarded?  And here I am now.  Broken-hearted and a little jaded.

So I had a plan that The Extrovert would come back from his mission and we would spend a lot of time together as friends and he would see how funny and great I am and voilà!  He would love me forever.  I thought, "Okay, I'll keep it SUPER neutral and non-threatening, and it will be like old times, with us slowly falling for each other."  Except that I had already started falling.  I had been falling since right before he left on his mission.  And although my love was kind of on hold while he was gone, once he came back, so did every tender feeling I had for him.  And when he kissed me so deeply but then left me so lonely, I thought I was going to die.  It hurt SO MUCH!  How could he kiss me like that, hold me like that, touch me like that, and then walk away without a second thought?  IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, PEOPLE!  So now my eyes have been opened.  He used me.  He was using me all along.  He doesn't want to believe that, and he won't admit that he really did use me, because he wants to believe that he is better than that.  But if he is, he has yet to prove it.  Way to ruin my lovely plan!  Way to mess things up!  Way to make me love you and then leave me lonely and sad!  I still love him, even after the careless way he treated me.  What a guy...

As for The First, I just can't let him go.  I KNOW we aren't compatible.  I KNOW things are awkward between us.  But something is driving me to make things between us good again, and I just can't let it go.  I want to be in his life so much.  I want him to think highly of me.  I want him to want to be around me.  I don't understand why I want all of this, but I can't get over it!

I'm broken.  These wounds of my heart are taking forever to heal.  These guys are written in the scars of my heart, embedded so deeply that I can't ever forget.  They will always have a space in my heart, and there are always going to be things that remind me of them.

I planned to be friends with The First.   I planned to have things go smoothly, without the slightest trace of awkwardness.  I planned to spend time with him and talk with him and have intelligent conversations again like we used to.  I planned to marry The Extrovert.  I planned for him to fall in love with me all over again and to treat me with respect and love.  I planned for us to be blissful and hilarious and happy and fun TOGETHER.  I planned for us to have a great romance that led to a wonderful marriage.  And now I have to accept that things really don't always go as planned.

This post's title came from this song:

Just Give Me a Reason by Pink ft. Nate Reuss

The Inside Lingo Had Me At "Hello"

Well, life keeps on going.  Time keeps on passing.  And the pain of the past becomes less fresh and more easily pushed away.  I'm learning to let go.  I'm not good at it, but I'm trying super hard to relinquish my grasp on the people that have already forgotten about me.  But how could they forget about me?  How could they push me out of their life so easily?  I just don't understand.  But despite my confusion and hurt, I'm attempting to move on and forget.

And sometimes it helps when your sister gives your phone number to a random guy you've never met before and he texts you immediately.  And then you spend the next few days in a continuing conversation with him, learning all about how he is INCREDIBLE and SUPER LEGIT.  But really.  This kid is amazing, but super modest and humble at the same time, which doesn't always happen.  Not many people can casually say they were in a band, they write, record and produce music, they studied recording engineering, and they gave it all up so that they could be less selfish and choose a path that would better benefit their future family.  But this guy did.  He did it so casually that I was totally out of my element.  He did it so coolly that  I'm entranced.  He had me at "hello"...or rather at the first text.  I mean, what guy do YOU know who would actually DO something with a random phone number they got from a random guy at church???  Exactly.  And he's so un-awkward about the whole thing that I'm even more impressed.  I, on the other hand, am acting like an awkward fool who maybe never graduated from Junior High.

The other night, our mutual friend threw a glow stick pool party.  At which we met in person.  And I was too afraid to talk much, because there is so much pressure from so many different people.  I want to be friendly and appear as interesting and amazing as he is.  I want to be friends and actually have things click.  And so we small talked a bit, but neither of us was as open, candid, or friendly as we are in text.  But I forged ahead and invited him to our party the next night.  He came and it ended up going great!  We were able to talk more that next evening and I introduced him to some of my friends (who are WAY more friendly than his friends, by the way!), and we just had a good, fun, relaxed time.

Now I'm stuck though, because we haven't seen each other for a while, but I want to keep in touch, I think.  I'm just not very good at texting conversations, but I think that has to be our mode of communication.  So I guess I had better figure this thing out before I mess it all up!


This post's title came from this song:
The Curse of Curves by Cute Is What We Aim For

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

I love the smell of new magazines, freshly cut lawns, wassail in winter,  freshly baked bread, the guys' side of the Hollister store, lemon scented Lysol wipes, summer rain, Calvin Klein's perfume CK In2U for women, a new box of crayons, and orange blossoms in spring.

I love listening to my music so loud that my ears are left ringing.  I love driving with my music turned up as loud as it can go and singing along at the top of my voice.  I love driving fast and over the speed limit when there's no one else on the lonely stretch of road.

I love laying in my bed and watching sitcoms like Arrested Development, Seinfeld, Parks and Recreation, Community, The Office, Modern Family and 30 Rock.  Actually, I love laying in my bed, period.  Maybe that sounds lazy, but it's just so gosh darn comfortable!  I often wish I didn't have to leave it.

I love the mountains of northeastern Arizona.  I love visiting there and sleeping on the trampoline at night.  I love going up into the mountains, sitting in a camp chair, reading a novel and listening to the Aspen trees whisper in the breeze.

I love the smell of campfires.  I love how my sweatshirt smells like smoke after camping.

I love autumn.  I love how the leaves change colors and how the weather cools down.  I love being cold, because I love being able to wear cardigans, coats and scarves.

I love boys that smell nice and wear cologne.  I love getting hugged by these boys.  I love the idea of being in a relationship with one of these boys.  Actually, I simply love the idea of being in a relationship.

I love being nostalgic.  I love reminiscing.  I love thinking back to how things used to be, romanticizing the good and ignoring the bad.  I love remembering my past loves.  Maybe that is masochistic, but I love them.  They will always have a place in my heart.  I love what they taught me.  I love what I learned from the situations and relationships themselves.  I think I just love love.


This post's title came from this song:
My Favorite Things from the Sound of Music by Rodgers and Hammerstein

We Might As Well Be Strangers

I guess I am masochistic.  Or insane.  Or a glutton for punishment.  Or all of the above.

Because here's the deal:  I invited The First over last week to a little get-together a few friends and I were having.  But it wasn't as smooth or as easy as I was hoping.  Because DUH.  He is my ex-boyfriend.  He was my first boyfriend.  He returned home from his mission a few months ago and when we saw each other unexpectedly, we both froze and had THE MOST AWKWARD two minute conversation ever, filled with lots of gaps and halting sentences.  It makes me cringe even now, just thinking about it.

He and I have been texting periodically, and that seemed to be okay, which is how I found the courage to invite him to the get-together.  But once he was there, I realized I no longer knew how to interact with him.  I couldn't get over the fact that he actually accepted my invitation to come!  Also, the fact that the only friends that didn't bail on the get-together happened to be a boy and a girl who were ENGAGED to each other made it feel like a double date of sorts...  I kept freaking out thinking my ex would think that I had creepily orchestrated a sneaky double date.  WHICH WAS NOT THE CASE, OKAY???  So he left a little early, and OF COURSE the other friends showed up as soon as he was gone.  Oh good heavens...how do I get myself into these situations??????????

I don't know why, but I am seriously OBSESSED with making peace with this kid.  I want things between us to be SO peachy...and I don't know how to make that happen, or even if I should.

Here's what I do know, though:  It was SO nice to see him.  I have missed him more than I would like to admit.  I miss the intellectual conversations that we used to have.  I miss how comfortable we used to be with each other.  I miss how familiar he used to be to me.  Now I don't know him or what he's about, and I cannot breach the gap and make things like they used to be.  He feels like a stranger to me.  And it is THE WORST.



This post's title came from this song:
We Might As Well Be Strangers by Keane

I Can't Make You Love Me If You Don't

So the two years are finally over.  The Extrovert came home.  He contacted me.  We texted everyday.  We arranged a time to see each other.  He came over to my house about a week after he'd been home.  We made cookies. We talked incessantly.  We laughed and laughed and it felt like I was finally getting a refill on something that was vital to my existence.  We took a walk and talked some more.  I was very careful to keep my distance from him, not wanting to push him into a physical realm where he felt uncomfortable.  So it was very surprising to me when he held my hand.  And then kissed me.  And then let things get incredibly heated.  Okay.  That was a shared responsibility.  So we crossed a line.  "We've made a huge mistake."

And he shut down and pulled away, trying to distance himself from the temptation.  I'm the temptation.  So he said that he can't be around me for a while.  He also said that he thinks it would be unwise for us to date.  Especially because he is enjoying his singles ward and making new friends.  He doesn't want to be tied down right now.  Especially to someone whom he loses control with when it comes to physical intimacy.  It's dangerous.  He's right.

The thing that is most difficult about this situation though, is that he WANTED to date me.  Before things got out of hand, he wanted to pursue a relationship with me.  But when he realized how easy it was for us to cross the line together, he balked.  He was frightened of what else might happen.

Isn't this the WORST???  I've missed him so much over the last two years, and now, just as we were about to BE something, I am stuck with missing him again.  And this time, it's not a circumstantial thing keeping us apart...it's his preference.  You'd think after two years of silence and absence I would be okay with more silence and absence.  But it is SO MUCH HARDER now, knowing that he's only 30 minutes away instead of thousands of miles and that he is ACTIVELY CHOOSING to be away from me.  It's a big slap in the face, actually.

I feel like I was used.  I feel like he took advantage of me so that he could "get some."  I feel sad that he doesn't want me for more than one night of passion.  I feel mad that he has no respect for me.  I feel upset because we seemed to be compatible, but he won't let us have a legitimate shot at things.  I feel mad that he is proving to be such a coward and that he ran away so quickly instead of stepping up like a man and figuring things out in a way that is respectful to me.  I feel frustrated that he doesn't have any desire to work things out with me so that we can try a relationship with safety boundaries.  I think it could be really good if we just both committed to TRY.  What?  Does he REALLY think that he won't be able to rein in his physical passions?  It MUST be different for boys than for girls, because I know I want to indulge my cravings, but I also know that I could set rules and make myself take a lap, take five, and cool it down to a respectable level when things got too heated.  Maybe boys don't possess that same ability?  But couldn't he develop that ability with work and practice?  Geez.  I sound SO DESPERATE!  I can't make him want me.  I can't make him change his mind.  I can't do anything in this situation.  He played his cards too perfectly and left me powerless.  He played on my emotions and a lot of what he said cannot be refuted because he linked it to spirituality and what FEELS right.  I can't argue with feelings.  He knew what he was doing, and I played right into his hands, desperate hopeless romantic that I am.



This post's title came from this song:
I Can't Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt

She Doesn't Get It...

I'll be honest.  I don't get the Harlem Shake.  What is that about?  Who came up with that?  Is it supposed to be cool or funny?  Or both?  Is it an actual dance move, or is it what we term a bunch of individuals dancing in the strangest of ways?  Oh goodness...that is one fad I just don't think I'll understand.

And while we're talking about things I don't get, let me throw this one out there too: The Breakfast Club.  Why does everyone love this movie so much?  It's just some kids sitting around in a library.  It's really not THAT exciting of a plot.  And the dance that the jock kid does when he is high...yeah.  It is WAY LESS COOL than Kevin Bacon's angry dance in Footloose - you know, the one where he kicks/punches/jumps his anger out to a great song, all while looking so classically Kevin Bacon hot?  Yeah.  Sorry Breakfast Club.  You're a second-rate movie in my book.

Also, Urban Outfitters.  I am sorry, but what is their deal???  I think this store is the worst idea ever!  People go in and for hundreds of dollars, they can fill their wardrobe with items that they could probably have found at the Goodwill for $3.00.  And let's be honest: Urban Outfitters consistently sells items that are WAY UGLIER (and more cheaply made) than some of the things that reside at thrift stores.  But when you pay $75.00 for it, I guess that makes it attractive and worth it when you put it on your body...somehow...I admit that I still don't understand how that works.

Another thing that I don't get is the guys who ride around on those little tiny bikes.  These boys are at least eighteen or older...but they ride these little bikes around like it's NORMAL.  Is it normal?  Maybe they lead secret lives as BMX superstars or something?  I feel like even BMX people ride bikes that are size appropriate.  But what do I know?  Mostly, I know that these grown boys look like fools riding bikes that look like they're meant for kids who are seven years old.

Really, this is just the tip of the iceberg on things that I am unable to understand.  And knowing how much I love lists, there will probably be another one in the future.  Maybe someday everything will just click into place and I'll just start getting things!  Wouldn't it be nice?  Ha!


The title for this post comes from this song:
She Doesn't Get It by the Format

What I Like About You...

Okay, so I know this is dorky, but there are certain mannerisms and quirks that can either make or break someone in my book.  I am very judgmental, even when it comes to small-scale quirkiness like the following:

I will probably like you if...

• When I say "Good morning!  How are you?", you answer back "Good, how are you?"  I'm SO OVER the grammatically pretentious and correct "I'm well" or "I'm doing well."  To me, if you say, "I'm well," you are REALLY saying, "I'm freaking fantastic, because I am so grammatically correct and educated and I probably sound super smart to you, which is fine, because guess what?  I AM SUPER SMART!  And also, I'm hoping to break you of your grammatically incorrect habit of saying, "I'm good," because you sound like an uneducated hillbilly. You're welcome.  I'm glad I graced you with my elite presence too!"  Yeah.  That's what I hear in my head when you say, "I'm well."  But if you say, "I'm good," then I hear, "I'm laid-back and chill and my day is going just fine.  I don't care about being grammatically correct, because my life is so good that I don't have to care about stupid idiosyncrasies."
• You compliment me on my awesome hair.  It is my genetic gift from God.  Two feet of thick and unadulterated natural light blonde amazingness.  Yes.  It IS natural, thanks for noticing!  I'm really proud of my hair, and I really try hard each day to show it off the best I can. 
• You gossip, but you are trying to reign in your gossipy side.  But not trying so much so that we can't have a delicious conversation about who's dating whom, and who said what about that one kid who never comes to church anymore since he stopped dating your old roommate, and which girl is going to prove to be our downfall when it comes to securing a date with the new guy in the ward.  Non-malicious gossip is something that endears you to me.  It proves that you're human, because you can experience a full range of emotions - love and hate, adoration and irritation, etc. etc.  If you NEVER gossip, I'm basically sitting there wondering what your ulterior motive is, and if I'm the next victim on your hit list, you sneaky, silent hipster.

I will probably not like you if...

• You are peppy and talk in a high pitched simpering voice.  This is not high school cheerleading, okay?  This is also not some lame and cheesy activity where you have to act excited so that everyone doesn't leave out of pure boredom.  Also, peppiness often feels like superficialness.  It sounds and feels forced and I don't tolerate fake-ness well.  Be real.  No one is seriously THAT happy about every single thing.  You just got broken up with!  You just lost your job!  Okay, those are exaggerations.  But come on!  Shed a tear!  Be disgruntled for a sec!  Show me that you are human!  Seriously.
• You leave me voice mails.  Everyone knows that it is practically an Olympic feat to get through the voice mail system.  So just text me!  It's so much simpler, and I'm guaranteed to look at it.  There are exceptions to this rule: If you are a handsome boy leaving me a voice mail about how much you love me, I will probably listen and then promptly melt as I listen to the message again, and again, and again.  Also, if you are a family member leaving a voice mail about another family member's big news (ranging from death to hospitalizations to pregnancies to weddings), I will listen and then respond appropriately.
• You are mean to me!  This one is so obvious.
• You interrupt me.  This is so rude and it just KILLS me!  I think that what I have to say has some value, and I'd like you to at least ACT like you think it does too.  If you interrupt me, I have no desire to listen to what you are saying and I will promptly block out the sound of your voice.  And probably avoid you for a while so that I don't have to listen to you as you interrupt me again.

Oh the list goes on, but who wants to read a novel about my judgmental-ness anyways?  You're getting the picture.  If we ever meet, reader, you know what I'll be looking out for!


This post's title came from this song:
What I Like About You by the Romantics