What do I do when a boy calls me to ask me out? I stare at the phone in disbelief for a few moments, then quickly set the phone down and walk out of the room without answering it.
Okay, I might not do this every time, but when The Perfect Specimen calls me, I do. Yes. He called me last Wednesday night, and yes, I walked away from my ringing phone. Even his name on my phone screen makes me squirm with anxiety and apprehension.
Let's back up for a sec. I really thought after that last excruciatingly awkward telephone conversation we had, that the date was never going to happen. He was so SKETCHY about it on the phone, and then he barely talked to me for the next three weeks afterwards...so what was I supposed to think? I'll tell you one thing, though: While most girls would be disappointed, I was actually hugely relieved that the date wasn't spoken of or taking shape in any way. I'm not good enough for this guy and I'm not comfortable around him. A date with him would make me feel even more insecure and would really force me out of my beloved comfort zone.
And that is why I abandoned my phone when he called me. I was too nervous to speak. I was too frightened to say yes and too intrigued to say no.
So I let him leave me a voicemail. "Hey, Jessica. This is the Perfect Specimen. I'm calling because I'm trying to see what your availability is to go on this date. So, uh...just call me back."
And of course, I HAD to call him back...so I walked around my house for a while and watched a few minutes of the TV show 'Psych' to give myself some time to rally some courage, and then I called him back.
Our conversation went a little something like this:
Him: "Hi, Jessica. I take it you got the message I left for you?"
Me: "Yeah, I did."
Him: "So... I guess we should figure out a time that works for both of us? Wait. Did you even say yes to going on this date? I don't know if you ever even gave me a yes." (very observant. I had only given him a vauge and sarcastic answer because I thought it was all a joke.)
Me: "I gave you a solid maybe, actually."
Him: "Well I'm going to take that as a yes."
Me: "Yeah, okay. I think that we could confirm me as a yes at this point."
Him: "Haha okay, yeah. Well I'm going to give you two options here."
Me (apprehensively): "Okaaaaay..."
Him: "So we can either do a mini date or a full date. If we do a mini date, it could be sometime in the next couple of weeks, but if we do a full date, then it will have to wait until next month."
Me (trying to be coy and not wanting to sound desperate for a date): "Okay, so what will each one entail? Because I want to make a well-informed decision based on the content of each one" (or something equally nerdy like that)
Him: "So a mini date would be shorter, obviously, so I was thinking we could try a new dessert place or something and then maybe do a real walk, real talk type of thing. For the full date, it would be more traditional, like dinner and then some sort of activity afterward."
Me: "All right...well can we have a little real talk right now?"
Him: "Yeah, of course. I always like real talk."
Me: "Well I'm really nervous about going on this date, because I haven't been asked out in a long time, and I just don't really know what to do. So maybe we can just keep it simple and do a mini date? Plus, I really love the real walk, real talk thing, so I'd like to do that, regardless of whatever else we do." (hopefully implying in all this jabber that it's less pressure to do a mini date)
Him: "Yeah, you don't have to be nervous though. We can definitely do real walk, real talk..."
And then the conversation disintegrated into finding a day that works for both of us, and WHY it was so difficult, I don't understand. But it has been set. We are going out on March 19th. Mini date. Hopefully I can keep my nerves under control and not act like some desperate/crazy spinster lady.
This post's title came from this song:
I Can't Lie by Maroon 5
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