Till I Forget About You

Let's talk about this:  oxytocin.  The bonding hormone.  I'm certain that it is responsible for making break-ups so difficult.  I hate it right now.  I really do.  I have to break up with the boy who I decided I wasn't going to date, but somehow found myself dating...and I keep crying about it, even though in the end, I know that I don't REALLY want to date this boy - it has just been easy to go along with, and as I've gone along with it, it has become very enjoyable...and now, here I am, in the clutches of oxytocin, with my logic and reason fighting valiantly for their victory.  This boy is not what I am looking for ultimately in a marriage, so why should I waste our time?  I shouldn't.  But I really like being with him, having adventures, going on dates, cuddling during movies, etc.  But how can I, in good conscience, knowingly deprive both of us of a greater happiness?  I can't.  And so.........today I let my logic take the wheel...and I am going to end it.  I have had two crying breakdowns about this already, and I guarantee at least another three.  But I have to do what is right and what is best for both of us in the long run!

Here's the thing: when I end it, I am probably going to need some serious help.  But I have serious issues asking for emotional help (or really any help, but whatevs).  So I decided to listen to Big Time Rush's song "Till I Forget About You" and get some ideas on how to cope once this is ended (it was an easy source of guidance where when I turned to it I felt unimposing!).  So far they have told me to:

• Dance hard
• Laugh more
• Turn the music up
• Party like a rock star
• Yell "What now????"
• Jump up
• Fall down
• Play it loud (I think my music, again....?)
• Get moving
• Find a place where I can lose myself
• Spend money like it don't mean a thing (retail therapy is real!)
• Lose my mind
• Do anything I have to till I forget about YOU.

So if I start to engage in any of these behaviors, you will know that I have sincerely started the recovery process and will be legitimately trying to make myself whole again.  Because, let's be honest, BTR's advice is probably the best advice EVER and I trust them implicitly.  Maybe I'll write them a letter suggesting they launch their careers as psychological therapists.  International singing/dancing/acting sensations?  Nah...just the best counselors for relationship drama.  :)

Here's to breaking up and hating it the whole time.  And here's to boys who have no idea what's coming.  Here's to a relationship founded on being blindsided...and dissolved on the same note.



This post's title came from this song:
Till I Forget About You by Big Time Rush