Always Love

So tonight I'm missing my missionary.  You know...the post about missionaries and how waiting for them to come home is so difficult and sometimes so sad?  Yeah, that was about him.  The Extrovert, as I will hereafter call him.  What a kid.  We had a two week whirlwind romance after being good friends for 2 years.  And then he left on his mission, just as things were starting to click in a romantic way for us.  Blah.  And tonight, my voicemail reminded me that I need to clean out my box by playing some possible messages I could delete - among them were two from him that I kept specifically so that I could replay them and listen to his voice.  And I know that this is incredibly sappy...but I totally listened to them both multiple times tonight, just so I could feel close to him again.  I miss him SO much.  But he still has 10 months left of his mission.  And there is no guarantee that things will even happen between us once he is home.  And he and I are not very good at writing letters to each other...I wrote him a few and then I got a 3 page letter entirely in SPANISH.  Thank you so much (sarcasm, okay?).  I love that I heard from him.  I hate that I had to have help translating it.  It made it so much less intimate.  Which maybe was the point.  But I love his voice.  I love his hands and I can still see them in my mind's eye (maybe a weird thing to love, but his hands were so capable of work and calloused, yet gentle and tender with me).  I love how he makes everything feel like an adventure and how it's always fun with him.  I love how he led out and asked me on the dates, and asked if we could do scripture study together, and how he was so unafraid to be the male - a TRUE, stereotypical, dominant male - in the relationship.  I love that he loved the Lord, the gospel, and the church so much that he gave up two years of his life, devoting that time to spreading and sharing what he loved.  I love that he always made me feel precious and beautiful, overlooking my physical flaws and tenderly helping me correct my personality flaws I was working on.  I love how he couldn't wait to see me each day.  I love that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him.  Or at least that's the way it seemed.  Now I just don't know.  I want so much to have a shot with him again.  I want to be with him.  And hearing his voice again tonight just made me want that so much more.  Will I always love this boy?  Or will this, too, pass?  And more importantly, will he ever love me back?


This post's title comes from this song:
Always Love by Nada Surf