I Just Want To Hear You Say, "Hello"

Here we go.  Fasten your seat belts, because this story is going to be wild.  And nearly unbelievable.  I SWEAR I am living in a telenovela or a movie or something!

Okay, let's backtrack to a few weeks ago.  The Extrovert had been texting me periodically.  I had been a little irked with it though, because it was so sporadic, and sometimes he was asking for lady advice for all his lady probs.  And I, being the hopelessly devoted irrational girl that I am, would respond and I kept letting it continue because I was so desperate for contact with him.  Haters can hate.

Well I finally just broke.  After an afternoon of intermittent texting, I finally just said, "Hey, can we just hang out?  I've been missing you and all this casual texting is driving me nuts."  He said, "For sure.  When are you free?"  And so it began.  We kept talking about our schedules and trying to find a time that would work, and it came down to Tuesday.  Tuesday was the only day that would work for me, and miraculously, it worked for him too.  He had some homework that he was going to take care of first, but then we agreed we would meet up.

So Tuesday arrived.  He and I were texting off and on and as the time drew closer, I grew more excited and nervous.  I hadn't seen the kid for 5 months!  Almost to the day!  Well anyways, I got home from work and he texted me saying he had about an hour of homework to do.  I texted back that I had to do some stuff for Relief Society and then I would be free too.  I waited and waited for him to say okay, or to text me saying he was done with his homework.  I didn't want to pester him and interrupt him, because I have this insane fear of being THAT girl - the clingy needy one who can't go two minutes without being in contact.  Whatever, it may be dumb, but I think that is one of the worst stigmas to bear.  So I just didn't contact him...and the minutes passed and turned into hours.  I was so upset!  I decided to go on a bike ride and listen to my "So You've Been Rejected?" playlist, because all of the songs fit the situation SO PERFECTLY.  Anyways, about 3 hours after I had expected us to get together, I got a text from him.  All it said was, "..."  That's it.  So I said back, "What?"  He said, "I thought we were going to hang out tonight?"  I said, "So did I?  So what happened?"  He answered, "I guess when I texted you after work I was expecting some kind of response like, "okay, I'll be home in 45 minutes" or something."

It was at this point that I decided to call him.  When he answered I told him that I HAD texted him!  I couldn't believe he was trying to make this my fault.  I had been stood up!  He told me that he had never received my texts and that he would send me a screenshot to prove it.  Then the tension lessened and I decided to stop being so mad, because where was that getting us?  It ended up that we had a nice conversation via phone, because by that point it was too late for us to hang out.

We made plans to hang out the following night.  I had a party planned, but he offered to help with the party prep and I accepted.  And then I extended an awkward invitation to the party (I didn't really want him to come, because I didn't know how to act around him and I was afraid of how our dynamic might influence the party atmosphere).  He accepted the invitation.  And a fun awkward time was had by all.  And I was mortified at how flustered I was during the party.  And I was sure that he would never want to speak to me again, knowing how crazy I was or appeared to be.  I wanted him to fit in with my friends so desperately, but he took all of them by surprise because no one expected him to be there - not even me, really. We were all kind of thrown, you know?  And I think he could sense that, maybe?

But regardless, I saw him about a week later, where he sought me out and we had a nice chat.  Really, it was good.  We joked like we used to, and fell back into our natural rhythm for the most part.

I miss him so much, but I'm afraid of scaring him away with how much I want him in my life.  I don't know what steps to take next or what to do, but I DO know that I'm not over him.  I want to see him every day.  I want to talk on the phone with him all the time.  I LOVE his voice.  All it takes is a simple greeting from him and I'm putty in his hands.  I am really tangled up in him and I inexplicably love him.  But is that love ever going to be reciprocated?


This post's title came from this song:
Hello by Cody Simpson

We're Young, We Smell Good, We're Alone, So Alive!

DATING.  It is kind of an exciting word.  Slightly intimidating, but desirable.  As young single adults, that is kind of our goal - to be dating someone.  Being alone, while often freeing and fun, can also get old and tired.  There comes a point when you're just ready to date someone.  Or maybe just go on a few dates instead of always hanging out in a group.  Get that one-on-one alone time...  *Shimmy!*  :)  Haha but, I mean, really, sometimes I just want to have a night alone with a guy, just to make sure I'm not fabricating the "spark" or "chemistry" or whatever without any real foundation.

As I've been talking with some of my friends, it has come to my attention that some of them don't have a clue what a real date consists of.  I'll tell you why they're so clueless: our generation is caught up in this phenomenon where we do group hangouts ALL THE TIME, and then, suddenly, a boy and a girl from the group start to "like" each other or be more attracted to each other or whatever, and BAM!  They are an item!  They're steady dating.  The end.  Okay, okay.  There may be some hangouts between the boy and girl before they become official...but how do you know if you're on a date or whether you're just on a casual-friend hangout excursion?  It can be confusing, I know, BUT!  It doesn't have to be.  :)

In order for a get-together to be qualified as a DATE, it must be:

1. Planned
2. Paid For
3. Paired Off

Seems pretty straightforward, but let me clarify:

1. The planned part is very important!  It means that there was some forethought for the get-together and that effort was made to make it all happen and come together.  Planning usually implies that there is a point and a purpose for the thing (just like if you planned to study for a test - the purpose is to do well, or planning a vacation - the point is to have fun, etc.).
2. One party is footing the bill for the evening.  Usually it is the person who instigated the get-together.  Let's draw a comparison: if someone were to invite you over to their home, they would play the part of the host/hostess and make sure you were taken care of in their home.  But when you're out and about, they are going to pay other people to take care of you.  This means paying for dinner, event tickets, etc.  If they want to spend time with you in a datey sort of way, they are going to take care of the details, which means paying.
3. Paired off - what could be more simple?  You are out with one person.  If a group date should occur, then you are out with one person plus a group of other couples - but each person is part of a couple.  No third wheel friends here (or fifth wheel or seventh wheel...trust me, it happens!).

If you find yourself in a social situation that meets the above criteria, then you are on a date!  Don't let the word "date" freak you out.  Just enjoy the time together and see where it goes!  After all, we're young, we smell good, we're alone, so alive!

This post's title came from this song:
Light a Roman Candle With Me by Fun.